Tag Archives: wedding

WWYD from the Inbox: Wedding

Dear Hadassah,

I received an invitation to my friend’s daughter’s wedding in November. We’d have to travel to get there – but it’s doable. I’d like to go, but I know it’s going to be a crazy expensive wedding with all the bells and whistles, and the mother of the bride is doing it all on her own with no help from the bride’s father. (Divorced parents….) I know she cannot afford it, but is doing it anyway.

Do we go anyway because we’re invited and I know she’d like us there, or decline and send a nice gift?

What would you do?


Hmmm. Readers?


Review of Seating Arrangements. *Win a $25 Amazon Gift Card*

I just had the honour of reading Seating Arrangements by Maggie Shipstead.

This is her first novel and I refused to read the summary before diving in to the book. I wanted to be surprised. I curled up on the sofa Friday night and started reading. All during Friday night dinner I yearned to get back to it and the moment I woke up on Shabbat I had to return to it.

Maggie Shipstead is a gifted writer. Her story takes place over a wedding weekend and illustrates the ins and outs of one WASPy family in all their glory (and shame).

The main character is Winn Van Meter, father of the bride. Ms Shipstead developed his character perfectly – you feel his pride in his children, his angst at them growing up and embarking upon the next chapter in their lives, his sorrow at various of his behaviours and thoughts. This man is obsessed with belonging – to the right golf club, the right social club. Much of his life revolves around his social club and his inability to be granted entry to the local golf club on his Cape Cod-like island.

Each character has a unique personality and Ms Shipstead is able to bring them to life with her beautiful writing. I laughed, I cried, I cringed.

This was a well-written, fun read that kept me hooked from the first page. I cannot wait to read more family dramas from Ms Shipstead. To buy your own copy of the book – here’s the Amazon link.

***Would you like to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card?***

To qualify, please leave a comment below telling me which types of books you like reading, and the name and author of the last book you read.

Contest will close Monday August 20th 2012 at 9 am. One winner will be chosen at random, and will have 24 hours to respond to the email telling them they are a winner. If no response, another winner will be chosen.

What a wedding!!

The young couple

The KoD and I just returned from an awesome wedding. @kvetchingeditor and @schnit tied the knot today in phenomenal style. It was a warm atmosphere, with so much love in the room. There were many bloggers and tweeters present, some meeting each other for the first time in real life.

It was quite a feat, tweeting and taking pictures and experiencing all that was happening – but it seemed many of us were able to do it, and do it well.

Me and My KoD at the wedding

Before the Chuppah, I was honoured to have a moment with the bride to share my bracha with her. It was a truly emotional moment – for much of the last month we were not sure if due to my immigration issues whether I would be able to make it to the wedding or not, so that made it doubly special.

We have all been to weddings where, even though we are happy to be part of the simcha, it hasn’t really touched our soul. Not so with this wedding. The joy in the room was palpable. This bride and groom have touched the lives of all those present, and many more that didn’t make it there – and they had the wedding they truly deserved. It was an honour and a privilege to be part of this phenomenal occasion.

Mazel Tov Dear Friends!!

(If any of you tweet, search for the hashtag of #Tuvivah)

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More Wedding Stuff

Taking my yiddishe mama duties seriously. A week today is @kvetchingeditor’s wedding. (Squee!!) Help me to help her and her hubby-to-be not forget anything on the big day and not sweat the small stuff.

What do they need to remember to bring to the hall on the day? What might they need? What did you need but didn’t bring? Any advice on how to get thru this day with family and friends and all that that entails? What was the best thing about your wedding?

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Shopping in the times of Blackberry

Continuation of yesterday’s clothes post. Thank you all for the suggestions on the blog and the emails of links. Thanks especially to KoD who hunted through pages of stuff online to find me something that he knew I would like. (I still want that pink Tahari suit….)

Empress CaresALot let me borrow her chariot today to run some errands. She also suggested a store where I might find suits in my size. Now, this store is called Winners, kind of similar to TJ Maxx I think, and I had struck out there yesterday. But apparently if I went to a different location there would be more selection there. This was my last ditch attempt to find anything.

Not ten minutes after walking into the store I came upon a rack of Calvin Klein skirt suits – all for $99. Every item is fully lined, good quality and they had plenty in my size. Score!! I piled an assortment of different suits into my arms and off to the changing rooms I went.

I must add here, that I have rather an eclectic taste in clothes, and can sometimes go overboard. The KoD is more conservative in his way of dressing (no pink for him), and prefers classic tailored styles on me. I don’t allow anyone to dictate what clothes I buy, other than the laws of modesty, but I don’t have to look at myself in my clothes – he does. But given that, I won’t buy anything I don’t like even if he likes it. I would, however, prefer him to like what he sees, than to look at me and think I took a bath in bubblegum paint. (I like the bright colours). Plus he has good taste – he married ME!!

So armed with my blackberry I entered the dressing rooms, and tried on each suit. I modeled it in front of the mirror and snapped pictures with my blackberry and bounced them over to the KoD for his opinion. It was fun – almost like I was shopping with him, and he was waiting outside the dressing room to say yea or nay. Luckily I agreed with the majority of his opinions – and I was decided on what to buy. I could not believe how well the suits fitted, the skirts were long enough (more or less) and they were $99 for a designer suit – how wrong can you go with that?

I wasn’t going to get shoes….but I couldn’t resist. These ones match my suit perfectly and they were the last pair left. I know they are rather OTT – but it’s a 5 inch heel and they will look so awesome with my new suit. (Oh yeah, umm, KoD? I bought new shoes too (only one pair)….and you will love them on me….). I must funkify the suit up a little, you know, add my own personal touch….

It’s good to know that I have something decent to wear for Pesach and afterwards. And that I don’t need to go clothes shopping for myself for a good long while….unless there is a sale….

No, wait!! What am I going to wear to @kvetchingeditor and @schnit’s wedding??

Walking down memory Lane / Proposals

I was at the bakery this morning and bumped into Mrs K. I haven’t seen Mrs K since I was freshly divorced and blonde with pink highlights (oy vey). We had a long chat in the paper goods aisle, and I caught her up on my life. She was so thrilled for me when she heard I had got married. Asked about how the kids like the KoD. So I told her the truth – that they absolutely adore him. Then I just had to boast about how, before he proposed, he asked the boys privately if he could marry me. It had touched me so much that he did that, and showed how important the kids were to him. Then he got down on bended knee….. click for the Full Story.

So it got me thinking – how were you proposed to? How did you propose? If you are not yet married – how would you like to be proposed to? Did you do / do you want the whole bended knee thing? What would you have changed?

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Don’t spend time with fiance….What??!!

I received the following letter thru email today, I answered her personally, but I wanted to see what my commenters would come up with. You guys generally are on the ball!!

“My friend told me that her kallah teacher said that you should limit your interaction with your chosson during engagement, that you shouldn’t get too close, because only after marriage do you have like a “security” that he’ll stay with you. That if you get too close beforehand then you may become ordinary to him and he might start to find faults.

But then I’m thinking that when I get married I want to already feel close to my chosson, I want to start off the marriage with me loving him, that he should be my best friend. I was observing a cousin’s wedding, where I watched my cousin interact with her chosson and it felt like they were barely talking to each other, and it made it seem like she wasn’t into it. I want at my wedding that when I look at my chosson there will be that gleam in my eye that I’m excited to marry him. Am I allowed to feel that way? I’m confused.”

So what do you say, folks? Should our kallah keep her distance from her bridegroom before the wedding or should she ignore the yentas and do what she feels right?

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The Wedding List

Been discussing some wedding traditions on twitter this morning. I started the ball rolling with a question about why a chattan (bridegroom) unties his tie and shoelaces under the Chuppah. There were some interesting answers, but the general consensus of opinion is that bride and groom should be unfettered and knot free when they tie the ultimate knot with each other.

As things do on Twitter, the conversation veered off on a tangent, to the custom of the wife buying the husband a watch as an engagement / wedding gift, originally it was a watch with a chain, to symbolize their bond.

So, those of you in the religious community know that there are aparently unwritten rules for an engaged couple when it comes to gifts for their marriage and all of that. No one sent us the memo so we didn’t do all of this, and guess what, we are still happy. Of course you have to understand this is just based on stuff I have heard, with a little poetic license thrown in.  I will list those I know about, and I would ask that you add to it. Apparently it is bad form to not fulfill these obligations.

  • No flowers are to be given to the girl by the guy until the engagement. And then she is to expect a HUGE arrangement for the Vort.
  • After the engagement there is a nice sized diamond ring expected (ok, check…)
  • With earrings, a bracelet and matching necklace to follow before the wedding. Diamonds of course. (ahem, KoD…..hint hint…just kidding I’d prefer a Harley)
  • The girl has to buy the guy a decent expensive watch and nice set of cufflinks, and a set of Shas. Her family must buy him a tallit. (ok the tallit is the one thing we did….phew)
  • He has to buy her machzorim for all the holidays, and pearls to give her in the yichud room.
  • His family is to buy the expensive sheitels for her.
  • The girl’s Daddy has to buy them a house and a car and pay for son in law to sit in kollel all day.

Anything I missed?

Jewish Wedding Network

Please go over to the Jewish Wedding Network to read my piece on Mikvah. Click around the site too – it’s awesome. Thank you JWN for the opportunity to write for you.

The Royal Wedding (Part Two – The ceremony)

(part one)



The doors to the Great Hall were thrown open, and there she stood, the Queen of Hearts, more than ready to marry her beloved. The crowd parted to allow her to proceed unimpeded to the Chuppah. As she neared the marriage canopy the King of Diamonds stepped out from under it, and walked to meet her and escort her to their canopy. This was not something that the Queen had been expecting and she felt a swoon coming on, but squelched it there and then. This was no time for swooning, even for a Queen. The Queen Mother of Hearts covered her daughter’s face with the veil, and the ceremony commenced.


King and Queen stood together under the chuppah maintaining eye contact for what seemed like hours. All who were present were assured beyond a shadow of a doubt that this royal couple loved each other with such a deep and abiding love. Many times during the ceremony they were witnessed to be staring deep into the other’s eyes – truly their souls were communicating.


The revered Rabbi made the blessing over the wine. He held the cup for the King to sip from, and then did the same for the Queen.


The King was asked if he had the wedding ring – he produced it from his pocket. Two witnesses were asked a very important question – was this ring worth more than one pruta (dollar) – to which they answered that indeed it was. (one would hope so, after all, this is the Queen of Hearts we are talking about here!!)


The King was instructed to place this wedding ring on the index finger of the Queen’s right hand. He intoned the words “with this ring you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel” – and slipped the ring on her finger. The Queen had explained to the King weeks before that the wedding ring was sized to fit her ring finger, and that the index finger is bigger, so he was not to try to force it over the knuckle. In the solemnity of the moment, this slipped his mind, and he tried to force it over the knuckle. The Queen chuckled, and gently disengaged her finger from his. As the Rabbi continued the ceremony the Queen surreptitiously slipped the ring onto her ring finger.


The Rabbi then read out the Ketubah, the marriage document, that spelled out the King of Diamond’s obligations that he has to fulfill as a husband. This is written in Aramaic, and personalized for our Queen and her King. This document was witnessed by two very respected pillars of the King and Queen’s court. The KoD then handed it to his bride, according to ancient tradition.


Seven blessings were then recited over another cup of wine – each blessing was given to a visiting dignitary as a sign of honour and appreciation of the part they have played in the KoD and QoH’s life. Again, the bride and groom drank a sip of wine. Once this was done it was time for the King of Diamonds to finish the wedding ceremony by stomping really hard on a glass – a sign to all present that we should remember the destruction of our Holy Temple, even at the happiest times in our lives.


As soon as the glass was broken, a huge cheer went up, and people started calling out their congratulations, as that was the signal for the end of the ceremony.


Within seconds the little princes came running to congratulate their mother and her new husband, and the newlyweds were surrounded by well-wishers, wanting to kiss and hug and congratulate them. The royal pages were trying very hard to escort the King and Queen to a private room, but found it difficult to navigate through the throngs of people. Finally the King and his Queen managed to break free and made it to their own private suite, where they shut the door on all the merriment outside.


(part three)

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