Tips to Ensure an Easier Fast (from the OU website)

By Ira Milner RD

While some people fast with little difficulty, most of us expect to feel more or less bedraggled after only a few hours. If fasting means headaches and assorted misery for you, it might be the fault of what you eat or drink beforehand. A few simple precautions in planning your pretaanit menu could make all the difference.

Drink Plenty of Fluids

Water has been called “the indispensable nutrient” for a very good reason. Although a person can live without food for weeks, a few days without water would be fatal. Water makes up approximately 60 percent of the body’s weight and is involved in practically every bodily function. Among its essential tasks, it transports nutrients and oxygen through the blood; maintains body temperature; lubricates the joints; cushions a developing fetus and serves as a medium for the thousands of crucial chemical reactions taking place in the body.

Much of the discomfort commonly experienced during a fast may be due to avoidable water loss. Treat yourself to a leisurely glass of a non-caffeinated beverage several times a day well before a planned fast. Providing the body with enough fluids to function properly is a daily business. Your recommended intake is six to eight 8-ounce glasses (or their equivalent) per day, but that should be upped to eight to ten glasses the day before a fast. (Because the elderly tend to have less developed thirst sensations than younger people, they should be especially careful about getting their daily quota of water.) Don’t worry about drinking too much, since the body is highly efficient at getting rid of what it doesn’t need.

Beverages are not the only source of water. Even foods you might consider dry contain some water. Most fruits, for instance, are more than 80 percent water; bread, around 35

percent. Eggs consist of 75 percent water; meats, between 40 and 75 percent; vegetables, from 70 to 95 percent. Although coffee and tea also supply water, the diuretic properties of caffeine make these beverages inadvisable at a pre-fast meal. Diuretics produce water loss at the cell level and therefore ultimately increase the body’s need for water.

Decrease Protein

Most Americans consume far too much protein, averaging 2-3 times more than needed. A growing body of evidence suggests that high animal protein intake can be a contributing factor in heart disease, certain cancers and may pose a problem for those suffering from kidney disease.

Eating excessive amounts of protein may also be counterproductive before a fast. Since protein attracts water, too much of it may actually leach water from the tissues. In extreme cases, dehydration could result because the unneeded protein pulls out water that will later be necessary to remove the waste products of protein synthesis from the body.

Increase Starch and Fiber

Sugars (including honey and corn syrup) are simple carbohydrates. Starch and most dietary fibers are considered complex carbohydrates because they are chemical chains of many sugar molecules. During digestion both starch and sugar break down into glucose — the simplest form of sugar.  Consumption of complex carbohydrates helps to ease the pangs of a fast because they take longer to break down in the digestive process.

A diet of reduced intake is best supplemented with additional complex carbohydrates. Increasing those carbs will also help the body retain water.

Your best bet before a fast, then, is to load up on the following foods: breads and cereals (especially wholegrain); pasta, rice and potatoes; vegetables with edible skins, stems, and seeds; legumes; fruits (especially those with edible skins and seeds); nuts and popcorn (without the added fat and salt it makes a great, healthy snack).

Decrease Salt

No real news here. When you eat salted foods, the sodium in your blood level rises. This not only stimulates the brain’s thirst receptor (which triggers the thirst sensation), it also affects the body’s water requirement, because water is needed to remove salt from the body. So even if you can’t live without pickles and other salted delicacies on a daily basis, try to resist anything very salty before a fast.

Avoid Caffeine

If you regularly drink more than two or three cups of coffee a day—or if you are a caffeinated cola fanatic—consider tapering off several days before, so that by one or two days prior to the fast you will not be consuming any caffeine at all. Although caffeine isn’t technically addictive, the body becomes accustomed to its stimulant effects. Suddenly abstaining from caffeine after an extended period of even moderate intake will probably produce the characteristic “withdrawal headache.” The diuretic properties of caffeine, as mentioned earlier, will aggravate you further by increasing your need for water. Finally, you can minimize water loss by being careful not to exert yourself too much the day before a fast. Exercise only moderately, and stay out of the sun as much as possible.

By following the suggested recommendations set forth, some of the discomfort experienced on a taanit can be alleviated.

The Basics

Include:

Eight to ten glasses of water (or other, non-caffeinated beverages)

Small portions of animal protein.

Large portions of starch and carbohydrates (whole-grain breads and

cereals, pasta, potatoes, legumes and unsalted popcorn).

Vegetables and fruits with edible skins or seeds.

Avoid:

Coffee, tea, caffeinated sodas

fried, salted, or spicy foods.

Menu Suggestions:

Liberal amounts of plain water, 100 percent fruit juice, seltzer, and herbal tea (teabags rather than bulk tea are preferable)

Whole-grain challah.

Chicken (broiled, baked, grilled, boiled).

Rice (preferably brown) and lentils or limas.

Lightly sautéed or steamed mixed vegetables (zucchini, summer squash, snow peas,

carrots) or tossed salad with romaine or other dark green varieties of lettuce.

Cakes and lots of fresh fruit.

You know how sometimes you look back at certain chapters in your life and wonder what the heck you had been thinking? This post is about that, but in a more positive way.

The KoD and I got married almost 5 months ago – and as regular readers know, we have been separated geographically for most of that time, with the occasional weekend that we have been able to spend together.

Various factors have conspired to keep us apart, and we do know that time will take care of all of them, and soon with G-d’s help (and the USCIS’s) we will all be living under the same roof.

I look back at the last few months which have been very tough in some ways, being married but not being together, being married but still living the life of a single mom. Going through major and minor issues knowing that the KoD is by my side as a strong support, but emotionally, not physically most of the time. Sometimes you just need that big warm hug to make all the stress disappear for a moment or two.

But how did I know that the KoD would be there for me 100%, how could I have possibly guessed that he would never waver, never run for the hills, even when the going has become tough? How did I know that his loyalty and belief in me was never even a question, that it was the answer every single time? I don’t think we could possibly have understood how difficult the last few months would be – yet it has made our bond that much stronger.

Every time we take our leave from each other it feels like there is another crack in my heart. My soul weeps. It hurts, it hurts so deeply. We knew we would have to do this, but putting it into practice has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.

The first time I took my leave was 9 days after we got married, and my SIL said to me that I was the bravest woman she knows. That she would never have been able to do it. I told her I had no choice. I am a mommy AND a wife and the kids have to come first. The kids even told KoD when we got engaged that he ought to know he is #5 on the list ;) .It doesn’t mean I didn’t cry the whole 6 hour trip back home. I did. But it had to be done.

The KoD has proven to me time and time again how constant his love is for me, and for the boys. I know without even the shadow of a doubt that he would drop everything in a heartbeat to be by my side if I asked. He’s done it before. He would do it again. No questions asked. He knows I would do the same.

When I am stressed he is my first call. He listens. He never judges. He understands the subtext. He takes my anxiety and irons it out. He is my safe haven in the midst of a storm. He is the masseur on my knots of life. We have been through so much together – and he has been constant. If anything has changed, it is that we love each other more now that ever before. All this stress has made us stronger, a force to be reckoned with.

KoD – your QoH loves you more now than ever. Thank you for all you do, for what you say and what you don’t say, for the love that pours out of your eyes and caresses my soul. We have been truly blessed by G-d to have found each other.

I thought technology was supposed to make things easier for us. I popped out a little while ago to the pharmacy – have a little sickie at home L – and as I was getting ready I noticed how many things I had attached to me.

Firstly and most importantly was the PoisonBerry – I cannot take five steps without it, and it needs to be on my left hip – my mobile home office.

Next – my pedometer. I am trying to walk at least 10 000  steps a day, ideally would like to get to 15 000 but the weather needs to improve for me to be able to do that on a regular basis.

Then, because I was walking to the shopping centre, I needed my iPod because G-d forbid I go 5 minutes without hearing my 80s music. So that was clipped to my waistband too. It was a miracle my skirt didn’t fall off with all the hardware attached to it.

How did we ever survive without all this stuff? I was popping to the shops for mere minutes….yet I was outfitted technologically for a land skirmish…

But isn’t it weird (good weird) how on Shabbat we can totally disconnect from it all without a backwards glance? I know some people get phantom BB buzz on Shabbat, but other than that no one I know seems to be worried about lack of contactibility…

What are your thoughts?

Last night my eldest son, Prince Lenny, cooked dinner. He lobbied for the prerogative earlier in the week, and I gave up control of my kitchen for an hour. He was so confident of his culinary skills that he asked his best mate Blessing to come over. Blessing was brave and popped right over.

Menu – chicken franks (hot dogs that are actually healthy), French fries and veggies.

Earlier in the day I told him to check the freezer and fridge for the ingredients and if we needed anything to go out and get it.

Blessing came over, Lenny rolled up his sleeves and got to work. I tried very hard to stay out of his way, so he wouldn’t think I was micromanaging. He kept coming to me to ask questions like how high should the stove be, and the oven and how do you know if the hot dogs are cooked…

After about 15 minutes I couldn’t contain myself. I had to sneak a peek at what was happening in my kitchen. Lesson that Lenny learned – don’t leave pot on stove and leave kitchen to watch TV – dangerous and not cool. The hot dogs were on low, so he figured it was ok.. BH nothing happened.

I went back to folding laundry waiting to be called for dinner. Lenny had unearthed these little hot dog holders that I had bought years ago on a whim at the dollar store and laid one out for everyone with a side plate for veggies and a side plate for French fries. I had already told him that the one who cooks must clean up and I reminded him of this when I saw how he had set the table.

I have to say it was good – as far as hot dogs and French fries can be. Thank the good Lord for ketchup. Makes everything taste good. The kids totally enjoyed their dinner and Lenny cleaned up beautifully. He even swept the floor. And it was awesome for me to have the night off!!

He would love to cook more often but his school schedule is so heavy that it precludes it. I am looking forward to his cooking night next week. Maybe he will try some grown up food this time.

Yay Lenny!!

dogs

Those of you who follow me on Twitter and FaceBook know that I basically live tweeted my thoughts throughout the whole farce that this memorial service was. I think I intended to start out respectful, but I kind lost my respect for the occasion quickly. Twitter gave me the fail whale five minutes before the end.

There was so much about it that was just so unnecessary and wrong. A man died. Three children have been left without their only parent. They have been forced to mourn in the public spotlight. His daughter Paris ended the ceremony with tears and a heart wrenching short speech. But the pomp was ridiculous. Here is a selection of my tweets…

  • am hoping that the cameras will leave jackos kids alone…..
  • that was just sick – clapping for his casket? euw….tasteless
  • dammit Mariah – its a funeral, cover your boobs!! jeesh
  • MAriah – stick to lip synching…..you suck
  • now Latifah – SHE is a lady…..
  • why didnt they put diamonds on the casket? it isnt shiny enough
  • omg Lionel just opens his mouth to sing and i cry…..
  • whats with the fake church backdrop? so cheesy
  • how do you top this? how can anyone possibly have a better funeral?? new fad – quiet low key services, what a thought!!
  • and i must apologize, it is so wrong to live tweet a funeral…..but this needs to be done
  • FYI – to top oneself in UK parlance, means to end ones life….can they please stop saying it???
  • oh please matching ties to a funeral? what?
  • whose this talking now?
  • again, cheering at a funeral……weird!! but berry gordy you spoke well.
  • i keep waiting for him to burst through the back drop…
  • bubbles, what happened to bubbles??
  • stevie wonder in the HOUSE!!!
  • Stevie you are gonna make me cry……
  • stop those cameras flashing, have some respect crowd people!!!
  • he is singing I nevere dreamed youd leave in summer…….tugging those heartstrings
  • what about the kids having to sit through this? their poor little hearts must be hurting so bad. spare a thought and prayer for his kids
  • yay Stevie……awesome tribute….
  • these dudes are tall!!! kobe bryant!
  • its magic johnson!!
  • magic johnson does not age!!!
  • oh look at the sparkly gloves on the brothers….gonna hurl
  • Jennifer Hudson – guess no one told her pregnant women shouldt go to funerals….
  • but J-Hud – you look good, this must be hard for you.
  • back up dancers and singers are making me sick – over the top
  • OMG its Michael…..talking from heaven
  • this is eeerie
  • love vigils??? al sharpton…..now he got old….
  • al sharpton “michael jackson brough blacks and whites and latinos together”
  • oh vomit vomit vomit…al shut up!!
  • sharpie, baby, this is not a rally…shut up
  • oh crowd people have some decorum stop yelling
  • jon mayer?? human nature? coz he knows all about it
  • jon actually shaved? wow!!
  • how many of these stars agreed to sing just to further their careers?
  • the man looks like he is in pain…
  • ok this is pissing me off – STOP THE YELLING< its a funeral!!!
  • brooke shields – keep it together girl, you’ll be fine
  • the first person to look visibly moved at this circus..brooke you have class
  • oh put your hair behind you ear already, its bugging me
  • you do not applaud a eulogy!!!
  • Jermaine Jackson……he still looks like a Jackson…..singing Smile
  • uh oh i feel a prickle at the bck of my eye
  • bernice king and martin luther king the third
  • oooh this man can speak and deliver….
  • i hate when they say G-d calls the person home because they were so good – are the rest of us so bad?
  • “the love of G-d” inspired the moonwalk and the crotch hold?? ok…whatevs…..
  • the man will be presented to benedict for sainthood by the end of the year…..come on people. he was not perfect!!
  • who wears green to a funeral?
  • congresswoman sheila jackson lee – wearing white
  • people are innocent until proven otherwise?” what – guilty??
  • oy vey – look at the man in the mirror…..cheeeesy
  • she speaks well – but i wish she would shut up.
  • resolution 600 – debate – michael jackson as an american legend and musical icon – wordl humanitarian
  • could i get me one of those for my office? please? a bill in the House? i told ya, sainthood is next
  • another brother – cool flower
  • whoops my bad, its usher, thought it was a brother coz the tie and boutonniere…..
  • those kids – so sad looking at them….they must be totally overwhlemed
  • oh they so knew how to dress in the 70s…..NOT!!
  • yay Smokey
  • how old is the dude?
  • he is dead, he cannot live forever and ever and ever, Smokey
  • one of your greatest blessings, smokey, is that you still have your own hair and teeth ;-)
  • “he is gonna live forever twice” – oh man……
  • and now…..shaheen whatsisface…….kid singing
  • kenny ortega……
  • i am gonna hurl…………
  • they are now showing some performances from what would have been his tour…..
  • ooh scary eyes
  • and there is a star of david up there…
  • we are the world…..
  • ok even i got goosebumps……air conditioner is too high
  • come on MJ – jump thru the back drop……Thriller…..come on I dare you!!
  • maybe they should shield the kids from the cameras??
  • and maybe they could cut blankets hair?
  • this was even more OTT than i expected
  • ok i am choking up…..dammit
  • oh man they let the kids on stage with chewing gum???
  • make a better place….heal the world….
  • thank u for sparing us Joe Jackson
  • jesse jackson looks like a zombie
  • twitter gave me a time out just at the end of the funeral. sucks

How would you respond to such a message left by an administrator at an educational establishment:

“Hi, Mrs….Mrs…..whatever your name is, I can’t keep track….” And then follows the message.

Would you address it, or just leave it alone?

If a young step child tells the step-parent “I wish you were my mommy / daddy” what would be an appropriate response?

Is this really what the child wishes or is s/he just saying “I love you, thanks for being my step mom / dad?

How would you answer? I think an appropriate response is “you have a father / mother who loves you. But, I’m glad to be your stepfather / step mother.”

What are your thoughts?

I took the kids out to eat recently, to a place they love to go that is fleishig but not fancy. They like the steak sandwiches and crispy fries. I always get a stomach ache after eating there.

So we walk in, and no one is behind the counter. There is a young man surfing the web on his laptop bopping his head to his tunes on the iPod. My kids thoroughly enjoyed repeatedly pressing the bell they have on the counter, and laptop dude slowly and reluctantly unfolds his scruffy bendy self from the chair upon which he and his low rise jeans were slumped. Cool techeilet tzitzit though.

He saunters around behind the counter, one ear bud still in his ear, bouncing away to the music while he attempted to get our order right. The kids had to keep repeating what they wanted because ScruffyDude couldn’t hear it over the tunes screaming in his ear.

He kept looking over to his laptop, forlornly, as if it were a terrible thing that he actually had to work for a minute or two. I have never had such bad service in a kosher restaurant before. Even the kids remarked on the fact that he didn’t switch off his iPod in order to serve us. They thought it was rude. (this is coming from kids who are not even allowed to read at the table, so they definitely know manners). One even remarked that he wondered if the boss knew that his employee had no respect for the customers.

I generally don’t let this get to me, but this time I wanted to tell him off. But he wouldn’t have heard me anyway. Our food got to our table in a timely fashion and the kids enjoyed it. I left it at that. as soon as he had filled our order he was back to the laptop and the music.

If I got paid to sit and surf all day I would be a rich woman ;)

Ok, folks, up here in Montreal there are no kosher Subway franchises, Dunkin Donuts is not kosher nor is it ever likely to have a kosher place here either. Us Orthodox Montreal folks are really big on doing nothing to promote Ma’arat Ayin – the appearance of doing something wrong.

When I visited Brooklyn last summer and first stepped into kosher Dunkin Donuts and Subway I really felt like I was eating treife. It just seemed weird. I have been to a few more Dunkin Donuts since then, and in Israel we did Burger King and Kentucky Fried Chicken and tried a Pizza Hut too.

monsey trip july 4th weekend 029On a Sunday afternoon there are plenty of things to do in NY (as everywhere else) – laundry, cleaning, cooking, but the kids don’t really like that kind of activity, so you want to look for something fun and inexpensive for them to do. Apparently there is a place called Chuck E Cheese which has lots of Arcade games and stuff for kids to put tokens in and win prizes. Awesomeness. Ok sure, let’s go there! Kids will have fun and stop whining that they are bored. What? It’s a treife restaurant too?

I dunno, it just felt kinda weird – going to a treife restaurant to play games? Not really my thing, but when in Rome and all that. So we go in, they stamp our hands with the same UV number, different from everyone else – that’s to make sure that when we leave we leave with our own kids who have the same code. Smart.

The place is huge with all different games and pinball machines etc. We got tokens for the kids and off they went to have a blast. The restaurant and eating area was separate from the gaming area – and it wasn’t obviously a restaurant in my opinion.

Once the kids were all settled I looked at the mix of people around me – white, black, asian, latino….and chassidish?? What? Ok, I am not exactly irreligious, far from it, but my boys in their baseball caps and short trousers don’t look obviously Jewish and kinda blended in. If I, a modern orthodox woman, had issues going into Chuck E Cheese – what about the Chassidim? I mean, what if the Rebbe hears that they went to a treife restaurant? The Ma’arat Ayin would be huge for them. (It would be huge for me too…..but MOs are not held to the same standard as Chassidim).

From what I have heard before and since, the Monsey community in general is OK with the kids going to play in Chuck E Cheese (ok come Chuck E Cheese, pay me a royalty for everytime I say your name, ok?? Speak to my agent…..). We know they aren’t going there for the food, I don’t think my children even noticed that they sold food there! They were too busy winning their prizes and having good clean fun.

Truth is – if there was something similar here there is no way I would have taken my kids. It is just not done up here. Are we more discerning about where we take our kids, or are we more afraid of what people might think? We are told to be dan l’chaf z’chut – to judge favourably – but why put someone in that position to even think to judge you?

I went along with it because it sounded like fun for the kids and they had a great time. There was a huge weirdness and ick element in it for me, but that didn’t stop their enjoyment. Would I go again? Probably….but only because it seems to be socially acceptable in our community there.

What are your thoughts? Do standards change community to community? Place to place? Was this acceptable? Would it be to you? if you are chassidish what are your thoughts? (and why are you on the internet ;) )

I remember holding him minutes after he was born. He was so tiny, except for his head. (Oy that head!!) He was scrawny and mad, having been pulled kicking and screaming into this world not too long before.

I loved snuggling with his warm little self, rocking him to sleep at night, watching his sweet little hands curl into fists as he slept blissfully, his mouth open and emitting cute little baby snores.

He was little and needed me to protect him and nurture him and help him grow up right. I was his everything. I fulfilled his every wish.

Now I look at him across the room and am proud of the big teen he now is. He is bigger than me, heavier and taller, his head is still big, but it’s now in proportion, thankfully. But that’s when he is across the room.

When he stands next to me, especially lately, he towers over me. I am not a big person, only 5ft 5 in my bare feet, and am a skinny little thing. I feel tiny and fragile next to him. But I am still the mom. I can still pull my weight – and for now, he listens.

How is it that this baby I used to rock endlessly to sleep, will, in such a few short years become a man? How can I reconcile, personally, that my oldest baby is no longer a child, not yet a man, but soon will be? How do other mothers deal with this?

I know it’s the right way of the world, that kids grow up. I have no issue with that. I love the intelligent conversations we have, I love the way he thinks and I love his sensitivity and his respect for me. I love the endless talks we have about how to fix the world. I love his independence and need for personal space. But as he grows he needs me less and less.

Yet I cannot help but be overwhelmed by the thought that he is growing up way too fast. The physical manifestation is just a small part. Soon he will be grown up enough to find his own way in the world. And I pray that all the life lessons I have taught him will have given him enough of a foundation so he enters that world confidently and ably.

I know eventually all my boys will be taller and bigger than me, and I will be the little old yiddishe momma pointing my arthritic finger in their faces. But by then hopefully I will have baby grandchildren to snuggle with and feel pivotal to their world.

Mothers of grown men – how did you adjust?

When Hadassah asked me to write a guest post for her, the first thing that came to mind was, “Ack. She’s spectacular and I might disappoint her”. Mostly because I have been going in forty directions over the past few weeks. I’m very unfocused. Maybe I’ve always been that way but it’s more apparent now.

Then I figured she’d understand. She’s a Mom. She had to get the unfocused part. You know, the times when you put two different flip flops on because it’s just too much trouble to look for the matching pair? I’m organized but there’s something about summer. Kids everywhere, cooking more, cleaning constantly… and the fact that I barely survive on three or four hours of sleep every night just kicks my butt. We do have a blast though, despite the pandemonium.

So, Hadassah, you lovely woman, here is how I balance single mommy-hood and daily life. Can’t promise it will inspire anyone, but all I can say is I surprise myself sometimes. I’ve survived eight years as a single Mom and I’ve only worn a straight jacket in my dreams.

  • I’m a creature of habit. As much as I’m a true Gemini, I also like life to be somewhat the same every day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner: just about the same time every day. Kids set the table and clear it. I cook and do the dishes (I hate taking kids to the hospital for puncture wounds, so I take care of cleaning sharp objects). We’re fairly organized, too. Shoes go in the back hall, clothes go in the hamper. The floor is not a hamper. Even my thirteen year old son knows that.
  • We don’t watch a heck of a lot of TV. The kids are outside playing far more than they are sitting down doing nothing. I’ve taught them to journal when they are mad and draw when they have “nothing to do” (or they’ll have to clean).
  • I am SO not perfect and make sure everyone knows that. Of course, my ex still thinks I have a huge ego because I write a blog, but he probably just misses my sense of humor. If you raise people’s expectations, it causes a lot of undue stress. I just do the best I can and screw it if people don’t like it. I also do not allow toys or junk in my room…it’s my sanctuary.
  • I have a laptop. It’s the secret to my parenting success. Kidding. Well, not really…but I can be wherever my kids are and do a little writing, socializing or just read an online newspaper and still be with them. My alone time is important, but I get enough of that when they are asleep.
  • I play Monopoly with my children. I hate Monopoly and they know it. I play because it’s WAY more important to spend an hour playing a game than checking emails. I try to lose so I can get out of it early but that never works.
  • Writing a blog takes time and energy. I write a lot outside of my blog as well, so I’m never without a self-imposed to-do list. The upside is I love to write and I would rather make $10 writing an article that made someone’s day than pretend I really, really like wearing a suit and acting like I love corporate bullshit. I hate it and I do not like pretentious people. Was it OK to say bullshit, Hadassah?
  • I take risks. I’m forty-six years old and two years ago when I got in a car accident, I made it my plan to make sure that when I healed, I would do what I loved. If that meant using store brand cheese instead of Kraft, then so be it. Going back to a real job would mean daycare, after school care and summer camp. Not really a travesty, but my youngest three have been through (a mild) hell and back with divorce, my surgeries and eighteen months on crutches. I was also a bit of a crab-apple during that time. They deserve to have me home bugging them about home work, chores and playing a bad game of Monopoly.
  • As far as the risks (see how I get off track? That’s me…), I think not having a secure job is a huge risk. However, I am passionate about writing and it’s starting to come together. I’ve been working hard on my blog for two years and it’s branched out to so many other (great) things. Somehow I’m surviving. Spotty child support, a knee that has never fully recovered from the accident and three surgeries (I’m slow as a turtle and have chronic pain)….and I’m making it. I don’t live in a mansion. We have a home that could use a few more rooms to make it a little more spacious but why? It’s working and who needs to clean more rooms? I have a nice car…and it’s paid for. That’s called advanced planning…or luck.
  • This isn’t really a how-to is it? That’s because single Moms are innovative and know how to make it work. I can’t teach anyone how to make single parenting any easier because it’s never easy. I worry, I cry, I laugh and I get stressed out. Mostly, I laugh. It really does help. Single parenting is rewarding. Sometimes in big ways and sometimes in small ones.
  • As far as the Mommy moment that makes it all worth it? There have been quite a few. Most recently it was when my thirteen year old son was in post-operative recovery after surgery. He said, “Hi Mom. It’s OK, you can hug me, you know. Thanks for being here. I love you.”

He wasn’t under anesthesia when he said that…and he remembers saying it. It was one of those moments that makes all the worries just seem really small.

blondieCheryl Phillips is a single Mom of five and freelance writer who realized that Twitter was created so that she would stop being so long-winded. On her blog, The Daily Blonde, Cheryl posts her commentary on daily life and says what we’re all thinking without the sugar coating. Cheryl is also the Rhode Island Social Media Examiner on Examiner.com.

Mom : it’s time to go to bed, sweetie.

Boy : but I don’t want to.

Mom: yes but it’s time. Let’s go.

Boy (whining) : but it’s not fair…..

Mom: I know, sunshine, but sometimes we have to do what we don’t want to do because it’s the right thing.

Boy: Fine, when I’m a mommy I will let my kids stay up late AND eat chocolate. So there.

Mom: darling, you can’t be a mommy – you are a boy and boys grow up to be men, and when their wives have babies the men become daddies.

Boy: but Mom, you told me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grow up. I want to be a mom and you can’t stop me… (stomp stomp stomp)

Come check out my post on hair covering over on DovBear’s Brilliant Blog! Join in the discussion in the comment section too.

Been discussing some wedding traditions on twitter this morning. I started the ball rolling with a question about why a chattan (bridegroom) unties his tie and shoelaces under the Chuppah. There were some interesting answers, but the general consensus of opinion is that bride and groom should be unfettered and knot free when they tie the ultimate knot with each other.

As things do on Twitter, the conversation veered off on a tangent, to the custom of the wife buying the husband a watch as an engagement / wedding gift, originally it was a watch with a chain, to symbolize their bond.

So, those of you in the religious community know that there are aparently unwritten rules for an engaged couple when it comes to gifts for their marriage and all of that. No one sent us the memo so we didn’t do all of this, and guess what, we are still happy. Of course you have to understand this is just based on stuff I have heard, with a little poetic license thrown in.  I will list those I know about, and I would ask that you add to it. Apparently it is bad form to not fulfill these obligations.

  • No flowers are to be given to the girl by the guy until the engagement. And then she is to expect a HUGE arrangement for the Vort.
  • After the engagement there is a nice sized diamond ring expected (ok, check…)
  • With earrings, a bracelet and matching necklace to follow before the wedding. Diamonds of course. (ahem, KoD…..hint hint…just kidding I’d prefer a Harley)
  • The girl has to buy the guy a decent expensive watch and nice set of cufflinks, and a set of Shas. Her family must buy him a tallit. (ok the tallit is the one thing we did….phew)
  • He has to buy her machzorim for all the holidays, and pearls to give her in the yichud room.
  • His family is to buy the expensive sheitels for her.
  • The girl’s Daddy has to buy them a house and a car and pay for son in law to sit in kollel all day.

Anything I missed?

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