Monthly Archives: November 2011

Heinous, Harmless or just plain yuck?

I stopped to use the facilities while I was at the supermarket doing the weekly shop. There is a downside to all that coffee I drink. Anyways.  There was another stall that was occupied and the woman inside was having an interesting cell phone conversation as she took care of business.

Heinous or harmless? Is talking on the phone one of those things that shold be suspended when nature calls? Or have we sunk so low that even a little tinkle cannot interrupt our conversations? Should I have made a lot of noise so that she would know there was someone else there? Did she have an expectation of privacy to hold her conversation? What are your thoughts?


Of flu shots and allergists

So, I have a confession to make. I have been seeing someone. An allergist. He’s really good to me. His goal as he told me early on, was to make me feel good, to make me feel better. Sigh.

I went through a battery of allergy tests a month ago – I resembled a human pin cushion, but the results showed that I was allergic to trees, ragweed, mold, pets, lots of stuff. As if my high decibel level sneezing was not an indication of that! (I sneeze in sevens, I am weird like that).

We started medication and put in to play some of the allergist’s suggestions of making the house as low in allergens as possible, and I am feeling heaps better.

Today was my follow-up, and apparently my nose looks great (from the inside…) Doc Allergist wanted me to have a flu shot. I told him I always get sick from them, no thank you, besides they hurt!! But, it has been years since I had one, and he told me they are improving on it every year, what’s the harm in it? The harm is it’s me getting the flu. But I’d probably get it anyway from the kids – they share all the germs they pick up at school. I hemmed and I hawed, and told him to shoot me up. It’s no longer intramuscular. He didn’t tell me that. There would have been no hemmage or hawage. I don’t like pain. And this shot was a tiny prick. No pain at all.

So, of course, driving home my throat felt scratchy and I was sure my body was starting to ache – I am such a hypochondriac sometimes. I am fine and nothing really hurts, but oh the mind is a powerful thing.

Did you have the shot? Did you get sick from it? Did you have psychosomatic symptoms?

ShainDee’s Cosmetics

Wearing make-up on Shabbat is quite the issue for the frum woman. Most women I know put make-up on before lighting candles, and they put it on thick enough that it will last through a night of sleep and still look somewhat fresh in the morning.

There are laws about what make up you are allowed to apply on Shabbat, and which you are not. I am not a rabbi, far from it, and I do not even pretend to be able to tell you exactly what you can and cannot do. I have always winged it with the extra eyeliner before Shabbat… but it does tend to smudge by Shabbat morning.

I know for me I hate leaving the house without eyeliner. I feel I have nice eyes that are enhanced by my kohl liner. If I am dressing nicely, as I tend to do on Shabbat, I feel unfinished when my face is bereft of make-up. It’s the one day during the week that we are all together without rushing off anywhere, and I want to look my absolute best.

What to do?

Along came ShainDee cosmetics. She’s a godsend, folks. ShainDee has come up with a line of cosmetics that can be applied on Shabbat, and can be applied preShabbat and last throughout the day of rest. She also has rabbinical approval for her products AND many of them are kosher for Passover.

ShainDee sent me a lovely selection of products to try. I applied lipstick before Shabbat, convinced that by the end of the next day my lips would be totally dried out by the lipstick. Not so. Not only did the lippy last, my lips still felt soft. The eye make-up lasted too, and didn’t smudge all over my face as I slept.

I also received a list of instructions of how to apply the make up on a regular day, and how to halachically apply the make up on Shabbat. No need for a bare face on Shabbat anymore – I can enhance my eyes to my heart’s content, and know that I have the Rabbi’s blessing.

Additionally all of ShainDee’s products are hypoallergenic and fragrance free – perfect for my ultra-sensitive skin. The prices are more than reasonable too.

How can you get your hands on this make-up? Go to to check out the full product line, and LIKE ShainDee on Facebook.

Author’s Note: I received free product from ShainDee cosmetics and was  compensated to write this post.

WWYD? Letter from a reader

I received this letter from a reader, and it struck a huge chord with me. I don’t know what my answer would be as I can relate with this issue. Please weigh in with your thoughts.

My friend’s daughter is thinking about becoming engaged to a divorced father several years her senior. Like me, she was divorced with one small child, a four year old. The divorced father has a contentious relationship with his ex-wife and three out of his four children are exhibiting abnormal behavior. They have sought my advice – should she continue the relationship or break it off? For once, I am at a loss. My inner voice says “No matter how much you love this man, his life will drag you down. It will exhaust and frustrate you. Outside sources will control your daily life. Your needs will take a back seat to theirs. It cannot be helped. You deserve more and so does your child.” But how can I say this when I did the opposite? Or is that the point exactly? Can you ask your readers what they would answer? Thanks

There are so many of us divorcees in the same boat – we want another chance for happiness, but if that happiness comes at a potential cost to us – is it worth it?

In many of even the most civil divorces there is often strife and disagreement. Add a tempestuous relationship with an ex spouse – it could be like opening one’s home to dynamite.

I have much to say on this matter, but for reasons that I am sure you will understand, I am keeping my opinion to myself. But we want to hear from you.

Bendigamos Al Altissimo

I blogged about this Sephardi Birkat Hamazon many moons ago.

Yesterday my friend G6 put on a Thanksgiving Dinner for the seniors center that she runs, and the awesome choir of KAJ sang a medley of songs, including Bendigamos. This song touches my heart for many reasons – hearing it sung at our shabbat table when I was a tiny child is one of my earliest memories.

Wednesday’s Wacky Signs

Much vs Many

I have a feeling that I have blogged this before, but it still bugs me. How is it so difficult for kids to differentiate between how many and how much? I do not recall EVER having an issue. But I have been a grammar geek from birth, so it doesn’t count. Many is for something easily quantifiable, and much is for something like sugar or flour that’s made up of an infinite number of small teeny weeny parts.

At what age does this click in to place??

As a side note, one of the teens was talking about his weekend plans over the supper table, said “Friend X, Y and me are going….” – looked at me, rolled his eyes, and rephrased “Friend X, Y and I are going…” and I was so proud. Even if there was no Oxford comma 😉 .


I was driving to the gym today and passed by the local school. I saw a police car pull in to the parking lot there, and briefly wondered what was going on.

Cop gets out, opens the back door, out came a 7th or 8th grader, bookbag on her back, she gave the cop (probably her dad) the stink eye and shuffled off to school.

While my boys would love to get a ride to school in a cop car, it seemed like that for this little girl the embarrassment would never be lived down.

I did see Mr Cop smile after her as she slouched off. Hey, you know, if you miss the bus, you could either walk or have a parent drive you. You don’t get to choose the vehicle!

Nice way to start my day with a smile!

Wednesday’s Wacky signs

WWYD – Letter from a Reader

What would you do? Read the letter and let us know in the comments.

Dear Hadassah,

I love my housekeeper. She is my oasis of sanity in a frenetic world. I work full time and have two sons and a husband who find it difficult to clean up after themselves. She keeps the house clean and tidy and running like a well oiled machine.

Lately I have noticed little items have gone missing – an eyeliner, a sample bottle of shampoo, etc. Nothing pricey, but still…

I don’t want to think that she has been taking these things – but am at a loss as to how these things have disappeared. It could be that they have just been misplaced – but I have a place for everything.

How do I handle this so that I don’t outright accuse her of stealing? I don’t want to lose her, especially if there could be a rational explanation.

Perhaps you could ask your readers if they can give me some guidance here.


A Long Time Reader.