Willing to relocate? Maybe – if you are pretty enough and rich enough, maybe I will drag my a$$ over to where you are for a casual something, or maybe not. I really don’t know whether you are worth me moving across state lines for, but I don’t want to totally discount the notion…….what was the question again?
I am driven / goal oriented – I am a workaholic, so you will need to understand that dating me works around my own schedule. Your life will always take second place.
I am cute – I have such an inflated ego, that even I believe my own PR!
Young at heart – I am really really old and I don’t even have my own teeth.
Well rounded – have plenty of extra meat on me
I don’t agree with the hashkafic labels – I am a total hypocrite, therefore I cannot claim to belong to one group or the other.
No baggage please – I have enough of my own emotional crud to deal with, please don’t expect that I would adopt yours too, even if it is designer luggage.
I can’t describe myself, you need to meet me to know me – I have absolutely no communication skills whatsoever, and no idea of who I am or where I fit into this world.
There is a lovely boardwalk in a city not too far from me. The benches there have inscriptions on them. There is one bench that bears the legend “For The Love of My Life”. This is a special bench. This is a bench that a date took me too, that he hadn’t ever taken anyone else to before. It was here that he pledged his undying love and devotion to me. He proved it by letting me see his very important and private special place. He let me be moved by it. “For the love of my life” – how absolutely corny can you get? Looking back in hindsight – amazing how my vision is now so totally clear – I can see that this must have been his SOP – Standard Operating Procedure. I bet he took girls there every week and practiced that line, got the right mood going with a twilight walk, a little picnic, telling them sweet words they want to hear. Putting his hand over his heart when he looked in their eyes. (oh I am so gonna barf). Taking the walk to the bench, him getting a little misty eyed, telling her what couple he thinks organized this “for the love of my life” inscription. Oh puhleeze. Why do us women fall for this romantic crapitude? We get all shaky legged and doe eyed when the guys look a little sensitive. They know how to reel us in. Ladies, we have got to stop falling for this stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love romance, wining and dining etc – but the corny lines? Save me please. “You make me feel like I am 17 again” – I have news for you buddy, I have heard that line from so many guys you must all have read it on a bumper sticker. You are not 17, and I wouldn’t want you to be. I want a man who knows who he is. At 17 your cerebellum had no control over you. No thank you! “I look into your eyes and I can see your soul” – vomit vomit. Actions speak so much louder than empty words.
I dunno. Maybe I am just jaded – too many bad dates. Too many romantic movies. Whats your take?
The school now has a new rule that no meat lunches are allowed. It used to be allowed two days a week, and my kids loved taking salami sandwiches, hot dogs etc (cold, euw, but they are boys). And now I am stuck. I have no fun ideas for lunches. No peanut butter, no meat, this one eats tuna with mayo, this one without, this one not at all, this one doesn’t want bread…..its a laundry list of dos and don’ts.
Its only day two and already they are bored with lunches. They could buy lunch every day but that gets prohibitively expensive. If they are responsible with doing their homework etc they get to buy lunch once a week, the day of their choosing (usually pizza and fries day).
So parent people of the blogosphere – what are your sure fire lunches to thrill the kids? Do you have any sage words of wisdom for this frazzled ferklempte mama?
Well, the day finally came. The children went back to school today. Hooray! And much tho they will deny it vehemently they were so thrilled to see all their friends again. I walked them into the school yard (how embarrassing can I be??) and helped them shlepp their stuff. Why do they have to bring everything on the first day of school? My six year olds back pack weighed more than ME!!
Ok so am I the only sap amongst parents who cries on the first day of school every year? I see them lining up to go into class and I get a huge lump in my throat. Every year they are that much bigger and need me that much less. My first grader (how is that even possible that he is in first grade??) turned to me after 2 minutes and said “It’s ok Ima you can go now, I don’t need you anymore”. Sniff. Rip my heart out why don’t you? I contained my tears until I got to the car, indulged in a little weep fest, wiped my eyes and squared my shoulders and told myself to get over it.
As I drove away from school I turned on the radio (the whole summer it has been on a Jewish music loop of Chevra and Six13, oh the joys of yeshivish boys) and what song was playing? Holiday by Madonna, followed by What a Feeling from Flashdance by Irene Cara. Perfect song choices. I am sure plenty parents were singing along to those this morning and smiling to themselves.
So happy back to school folks, enjoy the peace and quiet and the possibility of time to oneself – what is that again?
I was reminiscing with the kids today in the car about the funny things they have said as little ‘uns. My youngest mispronounced a word and they all corrected him. I told them that what he had said was cute, and he would eventually grow out of it. They didn’t agree, so I just gently reminded them of some of the things they mispronounced.
Ima, can you buy me gogulars? [goggles]
Toy sauce [soy sauce]
How many pounds do I waste? [how much do I weigh]
We will fish from a ganoe [canoe]
Don’t take my cookies without commission [permission]
I remember well the days that we went to school with whatever pens and pencils we found lying around, and had textbooks and workbooks provided to us. These days we are sent lists of equipment, Sefarim, everything down to the number of staples you are supposed to send. My kids school has asked that I send each kid with 15 pencils on the first day of school. FIFTEEN!! Wow, they will be working hard for the first day for sure. We have to send Kleenex as well.
So I have added up what I spend on back to school, without clothing, and it’s a small fortune. But that is on top of the registration, book fees, photocopying fees, get-u-any-which-way fees, tuition – is it not cheaper to keep our kids home and home school them? Does it really make a difference whether they have a pink hi-liter or a blue one? Does the homework folder really have to be blue? Why can’t it have a picture on it?
There is a commercial that plays here that sings about it being the most wonderful time of the year, this back to school madness. Maybe for the stores, because they are raking it in! Maybe we are all fools because we give in, we do this bulk purchasing for our kids every single year. We never stand up to the schools and tell them enough is enough.
I should just thank my lucky stars that I don’t have to invest in uniforms. They have a dress code, but it’s pretty fluid. Pants, with no cargo pockets, no jeans, shirts with no pictures. High school is white shirts and dark pants.
Sigh. Remember that back to school smell from when we were kids? Those back to school butterflies? Would you want to be a kid again, but in today’s world?
if you have something to share in private, please email me :
SHARE THIS BLOG
SEARCH IN THE PINK
Join 116 other subscribers
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Prince Lenny- 17 year old son
Prince Squiggy- 15 year old son
Prince HockeyFan- 14 year old son
Prince ChatterBox - 10 year old son
King Of Diamonds - KoD - my husband, Abba to his 3, and step-dad to my 4
BLESSING- kids friend
Lady DiddlieDee - BFF
Sir Curlsalot - BFF's husband
Princess Blondie - Lady DD's daughter
Empress CaresALot - awesome BFF
Z! and her husband R - NY BFFs
C/V - chocolate / vanilla - BFF
King of Jungle, Queen of Stars, - new friends
Lady Lock N Load - friend and neighbour