Playing Favourites

I love all my kids. To distraction. I am frequently asked which of them is my favourite. I always answer that I have four favourites. They each have their own unique character, strengths and weaknesses.

I suspect that if I sat down and wrote out pros & cons (no, that doesn’t sound right) – strengths and weaknesses of each child, there may be one or two front runners. But that doesn’t factor in emotional connection etc.

Growing up I was aware that I wasn’t my Gramma’s favourite. My mum never ever made us feel like she preferred one of us over the other, but my Gramma was a different story. She was a woman of strong character and opinions. (Gee, I wonder who takes after her?!). I was never resentful – that was just the way it was. The sibling in question, who was the favourite, well, he always denied it.

Maybe I didn’t feel resentful because my other grandparents spoiled me rotten, being the only granddaughter amongst lots of boy children. Who knows?

Were you the favourite growing up? Were you aware there was a favourite? Do you have a favourite child? Is it ok to have a favourite, even if your kids will never know?


7 responses to “Playing Favourites

  1. I have a favourite first-born, a favourite teenager, and a favourite little girl.

  2. Hmm. That’s hard. I don’t know if I was the favourite, but perhaps preferred? I got into less trouble (most of the time), did well in school without trying, and was always more (much more) ambitious than my sisters. It was always clear to me that my parents loved my sisters just as much as they loved me, but that they were perhaps…relieved?…that I was so easy.

    Do I have a fave kid? I think, like you, there are things I really enjoy about each of them as individuals that the others don’t share. And then there are the things that make me want to (mentally, at least) throttle them. My guess is that is normal, though.

  3. One of my brothers thinks I’m the favorite while I contend that he is. He hasn’t quite cut the apron strings. Despite being the married father of 2-1/2 children and a budding entrepreneur.
    I do acknowledge (here at least) that I am my MIL’s favorite, although I tend not to rub it in people’s faces (I suspect that discretion is part of why I am the favorite. If my personality was the type to rub it in, I would not have the distinction).
    My son is an only child. He knows that he is my favorite boy (and hubby is my favorite man). Having an “only” makes playing favorites pretty easy.

  4. I was the hated one in my family. My brother and sister agree on that.
    All of my kids are my favorites, and so are the grandkids.

  5. Garnel Ironheart

    You cannot have a secret favourite. It will come out.
    My father grew up in a large family and recalls that when, as children, they asked their father who is favourite was he held out his hand and said “I have five fingers, do you think I have a favourite? They’re all important to me and I can’t live without any of them!”

  6. I was the favorite child, favorite grandchild and favorite great-grandchild. I think it was hard on my sister who is closest in age. My mother literally called me an “angel” and her “the devil.” My youngest maternal aunt and I were only a year apart and we fought for my great-grandmother, her grandmother’s affections. My great-grandmother made it very clear that I was her favorite because I was so well-behaved and her granddaughter, my youngest aunt, was not because she was rebellious. My father also favored me over my sisters (and my mother, as she noted to me once). I grew up feeling really resented by a lot of family members and well, it wasn’t great to put it mildly.

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