The young couple
The KoD and I just returned from an awesome wedding. @kvetchingeditor and @schnit tied the knot today in phenomenal style. It was a warm atmosphere, with so much love in the room. There were many bloggers and tweeters present, some meeting each other for the first time in real life.
It was quite a feat, tweeting and taking pictures and experiencing all that was happening – but it seemed many of us were able to do it, and do it well.
Me and My KoD at the wedding
Before the Chuppah, I was honoured to have a moment with the bride to share my bracha with her. It was a truly emotional moment – for much of the last month we were not sure if due to my immigration issues whether I would be able to make it to the wedding or not, so that made it doubly special.
We have all been to weddings where, even though we are happy to be part of the simcha, it hasn’t really touched our soul. Not so with this wedding. The joy in the room was palpable. This bride and groom have touched the lives of all those present, and many more that didn’t make it there – and they had the wedding they truly deserved. It was an honour and a privilege to be part of this phenomenal occasion.
Mazel Tov Dear Friends!!
(If any of you tweet, search for the hashtag of #Tuvivah)
Taking my yiddishe mama duties seriously. A week today is @kvetchingeditor’s wedding. (Squee!!) Help me to help her and her hubby-to-be not forget anything on the big day and not sweat the small stuff.
What do they need to remember to bring to the hall on the day? What might they need? What did you need but didn’t bring? Any advice on how to get thru this day with family and friends and all that that entails? What was the best thing about your wedding?
Posted in marriage
This might look like just a regular kiddush cup to most of you folks, but to me it symbolizes a whole lot more.
Four years ago, when I became a single mother, my friend Z! purchased this for me. The kiddush cup that had been used in our house up until then left with my ex. Which was fine. He was the one that used it twice a weekend since we had first been wed. He was attached to it and totally entitled to have it.
Z! bought this kiddush cup for me to use every Shabbat from then on, something that was mine, that had not been shared. If you look closely it’s more feminine than most of the bechers that you see. I have used this becher faithfully every Shabbat that I have been home, ever since.
That first Shabbat, making kiddush out of my new kiddush cup, was emotional. I had become the head of the household overnight, the one responsible for everything. I was now in charge of religious observance and rites in the house, and I was the only one old enough to be responsible to make kiddush. There were many times that my voice cracked while saying kiddush, that the tears rolled down my face, that I was overwhelmed with my single motherhood.
Within 2 years my oldest son became bar mitzvah and relished the opportunity to take over this religious rite. Initially I allowed him to use my kiddush cup and say the blessings every Shabbat that the kids were with me. I sat back and shepped nachas as he proudly voiced the holy words. And yes, there were many happy tears too!! But occasionally I needed to reconnect with that rite. I needed to remember the person I was that first Shabbat as a single mom, and how far I had come. How despite all the hardship that life rained down on me, that I remained true to the core Torah values, that I encouraged the same in my children.
Very soon this kiddush cup will be polished up, and put in a place of honour in my breakfront in the new home we will share with the KoD. He has his own becher that means a lot to him, and I am content to sit back and be blessed with his kiddush. Z!’s becher however will have pride of place and will always remind me of how far I have come.
Over Shavuot the post office tried to deliver a package that I had to sign for. As it was Yomtov I could not sign. I just returned now from the post office. The package was from the Consulate, containing our passports. BH we have our passports back and are not now restricted in travel plans.
Due to my interesting living situation these days, I have to figure out my next move, while packing up the apartment. Shavuot falls this week, and Shabbat starts less than 24 hours after that is finished. So time is of the essence.
I need to pay my full attention to real life, and that means less time here in cyberspace. I may drop in to blog a time or two, or to update when / if there is news.
These next few weeks promise to be extremely interesting.
Please keep the love and fuzzy vibes coming our way. All of your support is so appreciated.
Lady comes up to me in shul yesterday. While I was davenning. Which already ticked me off.
“Hadassah, so nice to see you. You are looking great.”
“Thank you.” I smile, and return to my siddur (prayer book)
“But I have never seen you this skinny before. It’s too much.”
I just kinda shrugged, you know, as if to say, whatever.
Then she asks, “What is your secret?”
I tell her it’s the stress diet.
“Mmhmm. You aren’t anorexic or bulimic are you?”
“No, not at all, but you know what, I do need to go throw up now that you mention it.”
Her eyes bugged out of her face…I walked off muttering under my breath “because its YOU who are making me sick with your nose up in my business”.
Posted in rant
My girlfriend @kvetchingeditor and her man are getting married very very soon. It is not known at this point whether I will be able to be there with them to celebrate this auspicious occasion with them. (Darn immigration paperwork!)
I wanted to ask you, my dear opinionated readers, if you wanted to share your tips here for a happy marriage. They can be fun, serious or just plain goofy – let’s hear it all.
My Tip – no matter how much of a feminist you think you are, sometimes you just have to let your man be the MAN, know what I’m sayin’??
Posted in marriage
There isn’t much to say other than we are not getting our visas. Yep. Simply put, apparently they no longer process these visas and we have to go for Green Cards necessitating more waiting and more nail biting and more freaking forms. Forget about the fact that we paid a lot of money in fees for the visas.
I could go on and on about the awful treatment we have received, and the incompetence of certain people in official capacity. But I won’t. I could complain to you that after we paid all our money they told us they weren’t issuing the visas. I could witter on about KoD’s extremely disappointing visit to the consulate to try and talk to someone and get someone to help us.
I could even whine and moan that my apartment lease is up at the end of the month and we have nowhere to go, and that we are still waiting for our passports to be returned to us – but why would I want to yank you into my mire of self pity?
Well, we have now become people who have hired a bevy of lawyers to help us out, because any way you look at it, life has become even more difficult. Hopefully we won’t have to resort to selling our organs in order to settle these bills.
For those of you that want to help us out with $ (see what I have been reduced to??) I have set up a a paypal account – from this page enter the following email address to donate MilnerLegalFund at gmail dot com . If you wish to donate in Canadian funds go to the same page but use the address of MilnerLegalFundCa at gmail dot com. The Facebook page can be found HERE.
I want to take the opportunity to thank those of you who have been extremely helpful and supportive in many different ways – don’t stop, ok? We need you.
This has been a long journey already (15 months married this Shabbat) and it so isn’t over. But as I was telling my girlfriend the other day – I am not in this mess alone. I have the KoD by my side, keeping me focused, keeping it real, making me feel loved every single step of the way. Yes this is an annoyance. It’s frustrating and I want to cry and scream and howl at the moon. But at the end of all of this crapitude I will be living FULL TIME with my husband (I know, what a concept) and kids. Just have to get through a few more doses of yuck to get there.
(There will be more detailed posts on this insanity to follow. I simplified it because I am so sick of thinking about it and dealing with it and living and breathing it….)
To learn more about mikvah please click here. To learn more about Mikvah Chana – click here.