Is it just me, or do other brides out there have this insane need to put the world to rights before they walk down the aisle to join in holy matrimony with their beloved?
I have had this feeling for about nine months now, even before I met my King of Diamonds. But as you all know I was actively looking to find Mr Right (little did I know how right he would be, all the darn time…;-)…) and even tho I found a few Mr Wrongs (Oh how awfully wrong some of them were) and a few Mr RightNows – I knew the chuppah was nearby in my future.
We all know that nobody is perfect and we have all done things in the past that we are totally not proud of at all. Mostly we try to learn from our mistakes and move on. Sometimes it is necessary to rectify those mistakes – and that takes a huge amount of soul searching and self-honesty. Most of us are afraid to do that. I used to be, but no more. I am all about taking the bull by the horns and facing the music, painful as it might be.
I think there are some situations that we can never rectify – some people are just not meant to be in our lives. But I don’t think that means that we shouldn’t at least try.
It’s almost as if I just want the whole world to be as happy as I am when I say my vows…ok no vows in a Jewish wedding ceremony, but there should be. In fact I want to write my own ceremony but I have a feeling it won’t be well accepted. I don’t want anyone harbouring any negative thoughts or feelings about me – I need to get married knowing that everyone in my life, past and present, loves me, simply and truly.
Utopia is a wonderfully literate way of saying denial, isn’t it? Well, I guess I am living in my own Utopia, wanting everything to be sweetness and light. I can hope, I can try, I can darn well dream, can’t I?
When you were getting married did you have similar feelings and thoughts? Or were you just focusing on the wedding bit?
In the Pink 