I wrote this originally before the wedding (3 months ago), but have slightly updated it. Sometimes I write something and am not ready to post it then, but I am ready now.
With every simcha (happy event) there is always going to be someone predicting doom and gloom. Generally it is a family member who knows “better” than the celebrants themselves, although sometimes it is a “friend”. I call these people “parade pishers”.
We have such a pisher. This person is someone that has been close to me, and always was there for me when needed. Let’s call this one PP. PP has always spoken his mind, was never shy of telling me an opinion, but it was ok for me to disagree, it was enough that I heard what PP said. PP told me he wanted nothing more than for me to find the man of my dreams, settle down and marry and be happy forevermore. Until it happened. Then there was a whole host of issues that were brought up. Issues about me being selfish and not thinking of the best interests of the children, me putting myself first, that moving away is wrong, that getting married was a terrible idea, how well do I even know the KoD etc.
This PP has continued on his quest to undermine and judge every move I make. It has come to the point that things that have come out of his mouth are so hurtful and wrong and just show how far from objectivity he has fallen.
This PP even went so far as to enlist the “help” of others to try to convince us we were making a mistake. This “help” backfired as we found out about it, and were appalled at how far PP tried to infiltrate our lives to get what he wanted. I firmly believe that in his messed-up mind PP thinks he is acting in my best interests. My issue now is whether I let PP know that we know his scheme. It’s obvious, unfortunately, that PP cannot be trusted with any more confidences, but do I let it slide, or do I confront this PP? I miss his friendship and wonder whether he is aware that he has hurt me.
WWYD?